Manglish Menus and Signs

I always keep my phone handy at Chinese restaurants, because who knows when I might be presented with the opportunity to document hideously mangled English like these gems below:



I wasn't aware that beans had musculature, let alone tendons.



"Why yes, ma'am, we do serve paste. And we have gum and cement as well."


Run for your lives! Mongols have invaded your food! (Or worse: they're *in* your food!)



... I don't think I want to know.



Special Seafood Clap Pot. What you get for free if you order Seafood Blow at a shady restaurant.



Apparently, light fixtures are edible here.

And a sign I noticed outside a grocery store:



I guess the thief ran away.

Oh wait, it says "theft". So you just convict the act of thievery, but not the person committing it? I'm sure it does wonders for the crime rate here.

Of course, my favourite Mangled English Menu/Sign of all time is still:



Pig Spare Parts. Order them in bulk! Available only from Chinese restaurants.