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Letter of Complaint
Jun. 14th, 2010 10:15 pmDear Far,
We have tried to put this off for some time, but at this point we unanimously feel that we cannot dodge the inevitability of bringing up this subject any longer. To put it very kindly:
It is really not necessary for you to try and outrun every last person who gets on the treadmill next to yours. Seriously. Everyone else has their own workout timetable independent of yours; just because they start up the machine next to yours does not mean they are striving to challenge your running record, nor should you attempt to string them up like pearls and forget that they're really just individuals, and not a relay race from hell that you absolutely have to beat. At the rate you're going, you're practically running around the whole damn country on your treadmill. Also, you're seriously wearing out the soles on your sneakers.
We have summoned the courage to tell you all this because the truth is that we are tired. Tired and fed up with supporting you thanklessly, while you use and abuse us and completely disregard our personal needs. We simply cannot maintain a selfish, one-sided relationship such as this. Should you persist in this outrageous behaviour, we will be forced to take drastic measures, such as forcing temporary disability, or walking out on you for the weekend. We will be sure to take your sneakers with us to the Day Spa.
Sincerely,
Your leg muscles.
We have tried to put this off for some time, but at this point we unanimously feel that we cannot dodge the inevitability of bringing up this subject any longer. To put it very kindly:
It is really not necessary for you to try and outrun every last person who gets on the treadmill next to yours. Seriously. Everyone else has their own workout timetable independent of yours; just because they start up the machine next to yours does not mean they are striving to challenge your running record, nor should you attempt to string them up like pearls and forget that they're really just individuals, and not a relay race from hell that you absolutely have to beat. At the rate you're going, you're practically running around the whole damn country on your treadmill. Also, you're seriously wearing out the soles on your sneakers.
We have summoned the courage to tell you all this because the truth is that we are tired. Tired and fed up with supporting you thanklessly, while you use and abuse us and completely disregard our personal needs. We simply cannot maintain a selfish, one-sided relationship such as this. Should you persist in this outrageous behaviour, we will be forced to take drastic measures, such as forcing temporary disability, or walking out on you for the weekend. We will be sure to take your sneakers with us to the Day Spa.
Sincerely,
Your leg muscles.
